Scribblings by Nancy

Grieving the life I imagined and embracing the one I was given New year. New energy. New possibilities. 2025 was good to me. And yet, December always arrives with a strange pressure. As the year draws to a close, I begin questioning myself ,  How productive was I? Did I manage to tick all the boxes on my checklist? Most times, the answers disappoint me. I end up beating myself up for everything I couldn’t do. And then January arrives —heavier, asking me to set new goals and chase a better version of myself. Somewhere in all this self-judgment, I forget something important. My blog itself is a by-product of my New Year resolution of 2025. And that counts for something, doesn’t it? Life, I’m learning, is a delicate balance between what if and what is . " What is " — is who we are right now. This moment. This breath. This present. " What if " — is the life we imagine we might have had, if not for certain choices we made… or choices we were forced to make. ...

Christmas is around the corner, and it is the most awaited time of the year for me. I am a Christmas person to the core. December always feels different, softer, lighter, full of promise. So I put up the Christmas tree, decorated the house with lights, changed the cushion covers and table runners, and wrapped the home in that familiar festive glow. Every time I walk past a room, I catch myself thinking, Alright… what more can I decorate here? The house looks beautiful, warm, glowing, almost picture perfect. And yet, somewhere in all the sparkle, I realised that Christmas had quietly turned into décor. Pretty, yes… but a little hollow. This morning, out of nowhere, a flood of childhood memories came rushing in. I suddenly remembered how full Christmas used to feel. I do not recall a single Christmas that was lonely or quiet. It was never just the four of us. There were always cousins everywhere, laughter bouncing off the walls, uncles teasing, aunts cooking up feasts, the kind of noise ...

  A mum’s guide to holding the line when the internet storms your house. When Roblox Came Knocking Boundaries with my pre-teen? Let’s just say it is an ongoing negotiation. And when it comes to screen time, some days it feels like I am negotiating world peace. Once upon a time, my biggest digital worry was making sure he was not watching questionable YouTube videos. Then came Roblox, a whole universe I was absolutely not prepared for, and suddenly I was the clueless outsider in my own home. The New School Plot Twist It all began when my son casually mentioned that every child in our apartment complex was playing Roblox. I have always been particular about the kind of content he is exposed to online, and at that time, I simply was not convinced Roblox was the right choice. So I said no. But everything changed last year after he joined his new school. He came home one day, shoulders drooping, and told me he was the only child who was not allowed to play, thanks to my “unreasonab...

For the past few weeks, my younger one has been falling ill on and off. Whenever she’s unwell, this strange fear grips my heart. Fear — that she will be unwell for the next few days. Fear — that she might have caught some big infection. Fear — that I won’t be able to sleep well and will end up roaming around like a homeless person. And I start to operate in that fear. I lose my rhythm and I’m just not present. It’s like someone pushed the pause button — everything around me turns blurry, and all I can think of is that my daughter is sick. This fear grew so big that I couldn’t sleep, and I was roaming around like a zombie for days. Until one day, I had to put my foot down and say no to it. I sat myself down and had this talk: Nancy, you’ve been through a lot, and this too shall pass. It’s just a fever. All you have to do is be with your daughter and take care of her. Give her the calm comfort she expects from you — not your fear. And yes, I calmed down. Operating in fear is never ideal ...

Not Perfect, Just Growing Every stage of life gives us a glimpse of what’s ahead - we plan, prepare, and imagine how it might unfold. But there’s one chapter that no one can truly prepare us for: Motherhood . I used to think it was simple - feed, change, put them to sleep, and repeat. What’s the big deal, right? I thought I could handle that. But no - embracing motherhood has been both the most challenging and the most joyous part of my life. You might think being a mother is all about taking care of your child and teaching them things.  But in the end, it’s you who ends up being taught. Irony, isn’t it? The Overflow Principle Here’s something I’ve learned that goes beyond what we usually hear about motherhood -  Parenting flows from the overflow within you.  It comes from your heart, your physical and mental health, your career, and your choices - everything that makes you, you.  So, the first and most important step to being even a decent mother is simple: take car...

Have you ever boarded a KSRTC bus in Kerala? Boxy and rattling, with windows so wide the wind rushes in like an old friend. I see myself climbing aboard with far too much luggage, somehow managing to grab the prized window seat. A scarf wrapped tight around my shoulders, I’m ready for the journey — a little nervous, a little excited, and wondering who will end up beside me. The engine roars to life, and as the bus finally starts rolling, I feel a wave of relief. Sometimes we find peace in our solitude. Outside, the scenery unfolds like a film reel. Coconut palms sway lazily, paddy fields shimmer in the sun, and glimpses of backwaters peek through the trees. The wind rushes in, carrying the scent of wet earth and roadside tea stalls. It feels like every bend of the road has a story to whisper. The ride is so soothing that I doze off like a baby. A sudden brake jolts me awake. We’re about to climb the lofty mountains, and I notice a new companion has joined me. We exchange a smile, a sim...