Grown-Up Shoes, Child-Sized Heart

If you feel like an 8-year-old stuck in a 40-year-old’s body, then this is for you.

As babies grow, they begin to create a view of the world — not through logic, but through the way they experience life with their caregivers and the people around them. Whatever you think people are, whatever you believe relationships to be, is deeply influenced by those early experiences.


When you are born you don’t understand reasoning, but you know what connection and safety feel like through the way you are treated. If your needs were met with love, you grow up trusting people, able to build deep connections. On the other hand, if your emotions were neglected, you grow up armored, losing the ease of emotional connection.

I, for instance, have become this strong lady who shows up for people — a person who advises, listens with intention, and offers support. But somewhere along the way, I realized I have trouble sharing how I truly feel with others.

As I grow older, there are times when certain situations trigger old childhood hurts. I react in ways I’m not always proud of. But I’ve begun to pause, to question the why behind my trigger and my reaction. And slowly, I’m learning to be at peace with myself — to sit with that little inner child and listen to what she’s trying to say.

If you find yourself feeling not good enough, striving for perfection, feeling jealous of siblings or friends, needing to control everything, or carrying other patterns like these — pause. Stop and ponder the why behind your behavior. Often, these aren’t flaws in who you are, but echoes of a child within you still trying to make sense of the world.

I know it’s not easy. Being an adult comes with endless responsibilities — caring for a family, raising kids, showing up for the people we love. It’s so easy to drown in the sea of tasks and expectations that we forget who we are beneath it all. We forget to stop, to ponder, to listen, and simply be with ourselves.


But maybe that’s exactly what we need. To pause. To breathe. To turn inward and recognize the child within us who still longs to be seen and loved. Because when we honor that part of ourselves, we begin to heal.

I know I might sound boring, but trust me — self-awareness and self-love are the first steps to healing your inner child. It’s not about fixing everything overnight, but about noticing your triggers, being kind to yourself, and slowly creating the safety you once longed for.

So the next time you feel that “8-year-old inside a 40-year-old’s body,” pause for a moment. Listen. Offer yourself the love and compassion you deserve. Because healing begins with you.


✨ What is your inner child trying to tell you today?


👟 Walking with you in our grown-up shoes,

Nancy Kavin

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Image
  “Where time stood still: Life in Munnar”      Times change as years pass by. From carefree childhood to full on responsible parenthood, life has just changed so much. I still remember the days in Munnar where I was born and brought up. Life was just so beautiful. There was no Internet, mobiles and some times there wasn’t even electricity, but life felt like a dream and I was content. I used to treasure every season of Munnar. Right from the bright sunny summer mornings with the aroma of fresh lush green tea around to the crazy rainy days freezing and dripping with water every where, I loved every inch of it.             Memories cascade through my heart, a flood too powerful to contain. Life used to be hard in the mountains but the joy and warmth it brought would overweigh the hardships and cold we faced. Days usually began early for us, we wake up early and get ready to school. By 7 we would be picked up by the school bus. T...
Read more

Unlearning Caste, One Home at a Time.

Image
I write this with a heavy heart. I usually steer clear of news about violence, it overwhelms me. But today, a story caught my eye. It was an honour killing, and what shook me was that it happened in my very own native Tirunelveli. He was killed for loving someone across caste lines. Just that — loving someone. Statistics say there were nearly 300 caste-based murders in Tamil Nadu alone between 2016 and 2020. And that’s just one state. Imagine the weight of a nationwide number. I was born and brought up in Munnar, a quiet hill town where cultures mingled easily. North Indians, Tamilians, native Keralites - we all coexisted, celebrated festivals together, played together, and ate from each other’s homes. Until I finished school, I was blissfully unaware of what caste even meant. I didn't know my own. That kind of innocence feels rare now. I did my undergraduate studies in a small village near Tirunelveli. Most of the students were from the southern districts, and though I was technic...
Read more
Image
  "The Stories We Miss: Observing Life in a World of Distraction"      Last week, I had the pleasure of meeting a dear old friend after what felt like an eternity. As we reminisced about our golden days, a flood of memories came rushing back. Among them was one of my favorite pastimes— people watching . Yes, you heard that right, people watching. Before you judge me, let me say it’s not as odd as it sounds. It’s a harmless, utterly fascinating hobby, much like bird watching or window shopping. And I bet most of you have indulged in it at some point, even if unknowingly.      For me, this curious habit dates back to my childhood. Early morning bus rides to school were a mix of nature watching and people watching, a comforting blend of routine and discovery. I remember the sight of tea plantation workers heading to the fields with their tools, their laughter and chatter filling the cool morning air. These moments fascinated me—their camaraderie, their pu...
Read more